Archive for the ‘Free’ Category


Yikes: A Social Network for Bad Coaching

Bingo Hermann – Assistant Coach – UKA
I want some advice. We went 3 and 23 this year and I think the head coach is going to get fired, which is really unfair, because in the video we got of our freshman setter from Slovakia you couldn’t tell she only had three fingers on her left hand, and what I want to know is when the head coach gets the footballarooski, what are my chances for the head job?

Wally Fodemski – Yorkville Window Replacement College:
Sometimes I deliberately turn in the wrong lineup just to see how my team handles it. Also, I like to order applesauce at Burger King. Same thing.

Guenther Stinkfowl – Tammy Faye Baker University
Give each of your players a few bucks depending upon how good they hit the ball. This is not so good idea. This is what my athletics director tells me. But what I don’t get is why it is good for basketball player?

Tammy Lou Turnipseed – Chatahoochie Community College
In the last four years we are 527 and 3 and I can’t get an xxxxxxx
interview at a xxx xxxx Baptist college. What’s up with that?

Boyd Webber III – Wyoming Institute of Technology
On recruiting: If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it is probably a duck . . . or a coot . . . or a grebe or maybe a dwarf dressed up as a blue winged teal . . . or maybe some sort of pigeon mutation or . . .

Shirley Cleavage – Mount Pleasant
Has anybody out there ever used Member’s Mark Volleyballs? My S.W.A. says they are OFFICIAL. They look like xxxxing soccer balls to me.

Goat Bukowski – Newark Chef’s Academy
We have an open date on Sept 5, 12, 21, 28 and October 3, 10, and 21. We will travel if you promise to return sometime soon, preferably this season. Also we need five teams for our six-team invitational on Thanksgiving weekend.

Tom Tripe – Volunteer Coach MISTAK U.
I came up with this wonderful anagram for team building. Tell me what you think of it:

T – Togetherness : We do everything together, well not exactly everything, but most things, except when we don’t.

• E – Eventually: Eventually everything will come together with our togetherness and we will start to win or at least not lose as much as we have been.

• A – A: A is our passing formation backwards in our fifth rotation because our libero who is at the top of the “A” which is near the baseline can’t pass.

• M – Mighty Marmots: This was our old nickname until one of the players looked it up on Wikipedia and discovered what a marmot is, which is not very attractive or athletic, and then we looked at ourselves and our record and decided a more accurate team name would be The Relatively Mighty Marmots, but that wouldn’t fit in the anagram.

Like:
• Tammy Lou Turnipseed
• Boyd Webber III
• Goat Bukowski

Farmville to Shirley Cleavage – Mount Pleasant
Wally Fodemski found a deflated Voit volleyball on your Turnip Farm. It was being used as a doorstop.

— Terry Pettit – author of Talent and the Secret Life of Teams. From October 5 through December 1, 2010, Coaches who order 5 or more copies of Talent and the Secret Life of Teams at www.terrypettit.com will receive a free telephone consultation with Coach Pettit on a coaching issue of their choosing.